Dinner at the Gatsby's

Due to the massive amounts of email requests, we decided that we should "officially" open up Robinsby Acres to tourists.  We figured we were being selfish keeping all this beautiful land to ourselves... especially since your generous monetary contributions helped to fund it!

There was however ALOT of work to be done.  Somehow we had to turn this piece of nuclear wasteland into a sustainable farm that is capable of feeding the massive influx of needy people who happen to pass by.

Using all my good ole American know-how (which basically involves tightening and loosening screws) I knew this was a lost cause as the growing season was quickly approaching.  So I hired a friend...

... a man with vision... a man that is well versed in "motivating" the workers and military strategy... I give you Germany's own Von Schlieffen!  He came cheap for we found him wandering the streets with a sign that read "will work for beer".  Apparently, since his infamous plan failed in World War 1, he involved himself in several other ideas that nosedived soon after they started (Betamax, XFL, George W. Bush, etc.).  He was also responsible to convincing the Fox network to air the television series Firefly out of order before it was cancelled.. bastards!  Anyways, Von Schlieffen can be seen here earning his beer by supervising his mistress as she tilled out fields.

Success!  Thanks to the nuclear waste that is buried under the garden, the produce arrived the day after we planted it.  The guests (seen dining) seemed to be very pleased at the quality of the harvest.

We laughed, we cried...

Our first international visitors from Trinidad and Mexico.

Our Chief of Security (Branson P. Daug) decided it would be fun to play a game of "find the turd".  I won... or lost depending on how you view it.

We then retired for the evening while Von Schlieffen cleaned up.  All in all a great day:)

Chief of Security Position Filled!

As I'm sure you can imagine, Robinsby Acres is a highly contested property as it spans over rich oil fields that the Canadian Conservative government wants to exploit.  Last night we caught Stephen Harper trying to build an oil pipeline directly from our property to his on Sussex Drive in Ottawa.  I think he was drunk as when I approached him, he kept wanting me to take off my shirt "like Justin used to".  As we do with most of our drunk and disorderly intruders, we called a cab and sent him home.


This is the third time Prime Minister Harper has tried this... this time he was disguised as the McDonalds Hamburgler.






So we have hired a new chief of security here at Robinsby Acres.  His name is Branson P. Daug, and he comes highly recommended by Michael Vick.

His vocabulary isn't very big; in fact he only knows one word... "woof", but he uses it quite well.

This is Branson as the keynote speaker at last years Dogarama.  His topic was regarding the correlation between beef bones and diarrhea. Apparently this is what all the top dogs are working on in science labs all across the country.

 
We celebrated his new job placement as chief of security last night over drinks.  As often happens when I drink too much, I ended up pooping on the floor.  Branson wasn't impressed with me.

There was a bit of a skirmish the next morning when we got into a big argument about which morning show we should watch while we drank our tea.  I wanted to watch Canada AM, but Branson insisted on Breakfast Television.  He's got a thing for Dina.

In the end though we figured it had been a rough night, so we agreed to take a mid morning nap.  Branson sleeps with one eye open though in case Stephen Harper makes bail and tries to steal our oil again:)

Telemarketers:  please send all your information to Branson P. Daug.  In addition to security, he also handles all of Robinsby Acres finances.